People often look at unplanned pregnancies as accidents. In fact, even I used to tell people who asked that Lilia was an accident. That wording was a mistake, and I am quickly coming to realize that. Lilia was anything but an accident...she was a miracle. God's little unexpected gift that he handed to me and said "I trust you with her, to love her and raise her to follow me."
I got pregnant with Lilia while on birth control. You can tell by her personality today, that she has the spirit and spunk to fight through those small odds of conception.
Currently, I am trying to get pregnant again. TRYING. After having Lilia the way I did, I never thought I would have to try. Every month my monthly girlfriend comes to visit, I feel depressed and frustrated. I didn't even try for Lilia, yet nothing is happening now when I want it to. No birth control to stop it and all the perfect timing...I guess maybe this baby that I want isn't yet in Gods plans.
It's funny how that works, God taking a situation and turning it to make you realize something else. It took this to help me realize what a great miracle Lilia was, she wasn't some fluke in my birth control. She was planned by someone, even if it wasn't me. Now I just have to wait for baby number two to be in His plans as well.
Now that I've understood his lesson, He'll work on planning that baby number two. ; )
4 comments:
Great writing. It hard to remember sometimes that it's not our time but His. He will send you your second miracle so don't loose faith. :)
Um...how did I not know you had a blog?
Anyway, I got preggers while on birth control too (two forms). We weren't even planning on having kids at all. I figure Ava's the type to do what she wants regardless of what anybody says (and that's been the case so far). Can't wait for those teenage years...
I'm back again! Honey, go get you buns over to my place. I've got an award for your fantastic self. Go!
Our situations are different in that my path took God's blessing AND fertility treatments. It took that for me to realize what a miracle and gift kids are. I think he is preparing you for something wonderful. I often reminded myself during my struggles that our God is not a cruel God. I firmly believe he would never give you the desires without also being willing to give you the means of achieving it. The it, being motherhood. Its just that sometimes his means are different than the ones we chose. As I sit here with another desire I am prayerfully considering I am wondering if our path for a 5th is through adoption.
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